2nd of B'lore series: 'Sony World'

Sony world is literally a world in itself, a world full of memories, people and me! Throughout my six months stay in B’lore, there was not a single day without Sony world. Its much more than just a crossing or signal in koramangala, for me it was always a pause… no matter how small or big. I always had to stop and think or wonder what next! Not just because it was this junction from where I had two options to walk down to my room in Nidhi villa after coming back from office, but because it was this junction which decided how I was going to spend my evening that day!
The very first time I came across this name ‘Sony world’ was on the internet while searching for an accommodation in koramangala. Its mention in many addresses sure made me imagine this place as a very famous and big landmark in koramangala. And indeed this small Sony showroom has extended its neighborhood presence to a much bigger area which also includes other big landmarks like Mahindra Renault showroom exactly opposite to it, the Reebok showroom next to it, the adidas showroom, a nice and populated hanuman temple, subhiksha store and many more… But its only the name Sony world which everybody associates to this whole area… I wonder why? ‘Sony world’ sounds like absolute truth and all other places have mere relative existence like ‘near’ or ‘opposite to’ Sony world! Truth… like this … is beyond logic…
Ohh but this is not why this place is close to me.. its more for the memories it created during my stay in B’lore. After a lot of loneliness and frustration during my stay in REVA guest house, located million miles away from the B’lore population (or for that matter any population of human beings and all other animals), just the evening I shifted to my new room ‘near Sony world’ (hahaha), I got to meet meenu! and in a very surprising manner… Next day, on Sunday when I left room to explore the koramangala area, it was this Sony world where I saw shweta waving her hand at me!!!... There are countless surprises like this, associated with this place… most of them involving this guest appearance girl meenu! This is the place where you meet nice people whether you decide or not!....
I don’t know if it is just coincidence or what, but whomever I met in B’lore, at least once it was near Sony world! I have so much about this place in my mind that I can’t write everything but just pause, wonder and smile. This is the place which never did let me feel lonely or lost… I wish no matter where I go in the world, let there be a ‘Sony world’… ‘cause there is nothing like meeting surprises!!!...

'Aatle aani Baaherche': Insiders and Outsiders

Long time ago I read this Marathi article named ‘aatle ani baaherche’, don’t remember whose it was. I also don’t remember exactly what it was related to, but sure I still remember what it meant. The author had said there are only two types of people, ‘insiders’ and ‘outsiders’. I also remember, that thought had influenced my way of perceiving people a lot, especially in public places. It has certainly helped me to accept peoples’ behavior in those
particular situations.
I feel it’s not right to straight away blame someone for their deed without understanding the situation. Let’s take example of a person waiting on railway platform for a local train along with many others. There is nothing special about this. But let the train come and the difference between ‘outsiders’ (i.e. on platform) and ‘insiders’ (i.e. people densely packed in the train) is very visible… and quite violently. Our hero being outsider, can very clearly see lot of space inside for him and tries to explain this to insiders in ‘all the possible’ ways. It’s just beyond his logic why these insiders can’t accept it. On the other hand insiders will do ‘everything’ to convince the outsiders to catch next train or some other compartment…. There is just not even an inch for anyone inside now.
This battle continues for around 30-40 seconds and fortunately our hero manages to get inside the train… hushhhh.. And suddenly he realizes these insiders are trying to accommodate him and his bag clinging somewhere at the end of his palm, and be comfortable (!) themselves! Some of them even share a smile as if to congratulate him for his victorious entry in train! Ohh isn’t that a miracle!!! What is that changed all these people suddenly? These are the same people who were trying their best not to let our hero get in!!! This is what is called ‘insiders – outsiders’ phenomenon! Yes…. Our hero has become insider now… just like every other person in that compartment! He is not their enemy now! Just then the next station comes and our hero starts playing his role as ‘insider’ at his best!!!... forgetting each and every second of his battle as outsider five minutes ago…
No it’s not funny, certainly not! It’s just a very natural phenomenon. So natural that it holds good for almost all the battles in life. May it be a politician changing party, or your bachelor friend getting married (‘kyun ki saans bhi kabhi bahoo thi’ is the simplest to understand I guess), or a person cursing rickshawala for his reckless driving (till he himself gets in one!).This is just true everywhere… A person is not to be blamed, it’s just the matter of whether he is on same side of crowd as you are or not! It’s so simple!
Understanding and accepting this phenomenon has helped me keep my head a lot of times… hope it does work for you too!!!...
:)

the right mix

The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard.
-Sloan Wilson

I think this is actually true for any healthy relationship, the right mix of support and freedom!!!

my orkut fortune says....

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do...

Shanthi Sagar

Very true name indeed! The typical south Indian refreshment place in koramangala… where I daily used to eat idli, wada and south Indian coffee… But what got a special place in my heart is something else… the tree outside shanthi sagar!!!... my thinking tree…
I have spent hours sitting under that tree, enjoying every sip of my favorite coffee and thinking very peacefully, about yesterday, today and tomorrow… everyday! It had become a very integral part of my daily routine. Every evening on my way back home from REVA office, I used to get down near shanthi sagar instead of going home straight away. Initially it was more of a means of spending that critical evening time among ‘people’ instead of sitting alone in my room in Nidhi villa. Evening snacks and coffee was one more reason, but it could have happened anywhere there…
But sitting on the chabutara under that tree never required a reason… just like having millennium coffee at middle gate till 1:30 in night… It used to give me so much peace to be with myself and think calmly… No it was not at all a peaceful place or the time like my middle gate at midnight. But then I feel peace doesn’t necessarily refer to silence or absence of sound.. Its more like absence of all those things which keep you away and separated from yourself!... Familiar people, their activities, thoughts, your duties, responsibilities… all these insulate you from yourself more than the irrelevant noise of strange people! And that’s why having coffee under that tree outside shanthi sagar was so peaceful even though surrounded by so many people and noise. Probably my inability to understand their conversation in kannada also added to the ‘peace’.
There was no one there to ask me why I am sitting there for so long and what I am doing… just me myself and my own time… not just the time I used to send there, but also the time in my past and my future which I used to think about… I don’t know why… It was magic of that tree I guess… I don’t know where I will be tomorrow… But I hope He has made such peaceful thinking places for me… wherever I go…. like middle gate and shanthi sagar…

Ecosse Heretic

Beauty is about reaching extremity!!! Simplicity as well as complexity need to be ‘shown’, for its right appreciation. May it be apple’s i-pod at one end or huge Dodge tomahawk bike(?) at other… its about showing the capability of reaching extremity!
Yes there is beauty in extremity, no matter what way. There is beauty in doing a kilometer of 12’O clock bar wheelie…. There is beauty in doing a dead end stoppie!!! There is beauty in sky mirroring calm water of a lake… there is beauty in rock cracking stream of waterfall!...No wonder why I am appreciating extremity so much, at least after spending more than an hour in looking at one of the world’s most expensive bike picture… the “Ecosse Heretic”… One need not know the machine... one need not know to ride… but anyone who appreciates extremity will agree…. Its beautiful… and it ‘shows’ it!!!

the luggage

just to make the blog live again... an old page from my diary..

Yesterday, while waiting for train on platform with all my heavy luggage, I thought “ek aadmi ka itna saara saman… kaun shadi karega yarrr!!! Double the luggage and much more responsibility etc etc….” And as usual my mom and dad didn’t agree to this…
Today I am in train, standing near door enjoying cool breeze. There is such nice greenery along the track! It looks like from some romantic movie... There are small pathways vanishing in the woods... I start imagining myself following those paths, going just anywhere in the woods, no matter where….
And suddenly I feel that need, the need for a good company! I feel a great need to share this experience…. And I feel that this need is a lot more intense and justified than the need to share sorrows… I feel that I can very well deal with my sorrows, or for that matter… anyone can! One can cry full heartedly when alone, but can’t enjoy the happy moments fully when alone! I need someone… someone with a face expressing ‘my’ happiness… where I can ‘see’ that I am happy… where I can store memories of my happy moments… And this is for what I felt that need for company.. It was not just for following those pathways vanishing in the woods…
We all can carry our own luggage, what we can’t carry on our own is our ‘joy’… and we need ‘someone’ for that… someone who will not just walk with you on that path in the woods, but will tell you how beautiful truly it is! You know how tough life is; you need someone who will tell you, life is beautiful too!!!....
- bhavin
(14/5/2007)

(I said it)

you can get used to any situation......
what matters is the time you need for it!....

but we won’t be there….

whenever I happen to be here again, at late hours
I will sit behind that pillar’s shadow at middle gate,
waiting for you to come and ask me why
even though I know you won’t be there.

or while sitting in the bmw, in absolute dark
trying to identify people near main gate
and expecting one of them to be you,
though I know it can’t be…. you are simply not there!

I had stopped expecting someone to come for coffee with me long ago,
but I don’t know why, there is no coffee without your thoughts.
I will still feel like calling you for coffee,
only to realize how far you are…miles away from me.

and when you happen to be here again, in the morning
on your way to the institute,
you will feel like shouting my name looking at my room in A hostel,
no one will reply, no one will come out, cause I won’t be there!...

don’t get shocked if you find me working in workshop
struggling with rods, sheet metal and a hammer,
it must be one of those lookalikes of mine in gdpd
just laugh at yourself and go… how can I be there?

there will be lawn, there will be backfield,
there will be bbc, there will be old canteen
and pointless fights will continue throughout our life
but ‘WE’ won’t be there!…..

I will be there sometime,
you will be there sometime….
and there will be this empty space talking about us…
and ‘we’ won’t be there!.....
- bhavin

Rear View Mirror

Unlike all the other mirrors, this one never shows you, ‘your’ reflection! Its not meant for seeing what you are wearing, how you look, but much more than that.
It shows you what you have left behind, where you have come from and sometimes shows what’s coming up! And all this without any need for looking back.
I find all this very interesting and essential. No matter where you are, just close your eyes for a while, and you see your own ‘rear view mirror’! Things just get lined up in front of your closed eyes. You recall every moment, just gone into past. Off course you can’t change it, but it certainly helps you decide your next move, at least till the next turn, where you will have a totally different, new scene in the mirror.
Keep going…….. but don’t forget to take a moment and look into your ‘rear view mirror’!...

being myself....

I don't want to talk to you...
but I will...
I don't want to remember you...
but I will...
I don't want to know you...
but I will.....

I don't know why.....
so I will........
continue being myself!....
-bhavin

Yes, I am not worth loving….

must be very true……
‘cause who said it was you!

though my brain still thinks about it,
and doesn’t find any logic for it to fit.

may be I should ask my heart,
an idea just popped.
a stupid one though,
‘cause long ago it had stopped!

But it must be very true,
‘cause who said it was you!......

memories........

This also I agreed to do,
delete your memories
as you wanted me to.

I am still not done,
it has just now begun.

They are so many, I don’t know exact number,
but each of them, I certainly remember!...

No matter from where I start,
it straight away parts my heart.


I started with deleting your snaps,
the pain has just begun.
But in my memory, I felt
you just got added one by one!.....

-bhavin

Who am I?.....

Bhavin? Oh, but its just my name!, not me!.... Then who am I? A designer?, a student?, son?, brother?, friend? But aren’t these all just my relations with the external world? And there can be thousands and millions of such relations, there can be numerous ‘my’, ‘his’, ‘her’, ‘their’s, but where is the ‘I’?
Is it my body which makes me ‘me’? But still its ‘my’ face, ‘my’ height, ‘my’ colour and not ‘I’…. Or is it the virtues and vices I have, make me ‘me’? But then why does it happen that the same person finds me very good at times and very bad some time else? Or is it the situation which proves me ‘good’ or ‘bad’? Or it is other person’s expectations from me in that particular situation, which decides whether I am good or bad, even if I am the same person always? But in that case also, I must know what is being that ‘same’ person i.e. ‘I’!…
And do I have to take some efforts to keep being that ‘same’ person? Ideally I shouldn’t have to!... But then why do I have to think (consciously or otherwise) when I have to respond to a particular situation? Doesn’t that thinking involve a hidden search for ‘I’? May be my responses to similar situations change with time, experience and other people involved, but then how do people expect or predict my particular response to a particular situation? There must be ‘something’ within me, which keeps me ‘me’ irrespective of other things changing! And isn’t it very strange and unfair, that others who expect my particular response, know that ‘something’ within me and I don’t know? But when their expectation about my response proves to be false, does it mean that the ‘something’ kept me ‘me’ has changed? For that person, may be yes!.... Oh…. Then is this ‘something’ about me different for different people?..... Then how can it keep me ‘I’? Or am ‘I’ different for everybody? All this again points to my relations with others and nowhere near ‘I’!....
Is the ‘I’ illusion? Is the ‘I’ mirror? The mirror which is trying to show what’s behind it!.... I am feeling as if I am standing in front of mirror and trying to see what’s behind me!....
And exactly ‘who’ is feeling that?.......
ha ha ha ……..

Without or within

On my walk back to me,
I found myself missing.
I looked up, I looked around.
I looked beneath, I looked beyond.
with the only place remaining
I decided to search within,
only to find that, the person I was looking for,
had just left searching something!....
- bhavin