Who am I?.....

Bhavin? Oh, but its just my name!, not me!.... Then who am I? A designer?, a student?, son?, brother?, friend? But aren’t these all just my relations with the external world? And there can be thousands and millions of such relations, there can be numerous ‘my’, ‘his’, ‘her’, ‘their’s, but where is the ‘I’?
Is it my body which makes me ‘me’? But still its ‘my’ face, ‘my’ height, ‘my’ colour and not ‘I’…. Or is it the virtues and vices I have, make me ‘me’? But then why does it happen that the same person finds me very good at times and very bad some time else? Or is it the situation which proves me ‘good’ or ‘bad’? Or it is other person’s expectations from me in that particular situation, which decides whether I am good or bad, even if I am the same person always? But in that case also, I must know what is being that ‘same’ person i.e. ‘I’!…
And do I have to take some efforts to keep being that ‘same’ person? Ideally I shouldn’t have to!... But then why do I have to think (consciously or otherwise) when I have to respond to a particular situation? Doesn’t that thinking involve a hidden search for ‘I’? May be my responses to similar situations change with time, experience and other people involved, but then how do people expect or predict my particular response to a particular situation? There must be ‘something’ within me, which keeps me ‘me’ irrespective of other things changing! And isn’t it very strange and unfair, that others who expect my particular response, know that ‘something’ within me and I don’t know? But when their expectation about my response proves to be false, does it mean that the ‘something’ kept me ‘me’ has changed? For that person, may be yes!.... Oh…. Then is this ‘something’ about me different for different people?..... Then how can it keep me ‘I’? Or am ‘I’ different for everybody? All this again points to my relations with others and nowhere near ‘I’!....
Is the ‘I’ illusion? Is the ‘I’ mirror? The mirror which is trying to show what’s behind it!.... I am feeling as if I am standing in front of mirror and trying to see what’s behind me!....
And exactly ‘who’ is feeling that?.......
ha ha ha ……..