will miss you!

The window....

 the view......

 the moon......

 the river.... the bridge...

all this as seen from my bedroom, I will miss. Strange enough, we are shifting to a new house which is just next door, same floor, same building.... and still I will miss all this..... Truth, they say, is stranger than imagination! I hope the change will prove to be nice in some other way, unknown yet!

(more about the bridge here.)

2011

Dear God, grant us...

the Serenity to accept things we cannot change,

Courage to change the things we can, and

the Wisdom to know the difference.

Patience for the things that take time

Appreciation for all that we have, and

Tolerance for those with different struggles

Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways,

Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other, and the

Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.

Reflection

Water always attracts us! So much that 4 lazy people actually got up at 5 in the morning (sunday morning!) and went to the Thol Lake some 30Km away from NID.
Its a surreal place... Just take your eyes away from that camera screen, look at what you wanted to show 'others', pause for a minute, forgetting people around you.... the place will talk to you.... just listen... and you realize it's your own voice! the one which you couldn't hear in your daily routine noise... trying to say something, something about yourself.... or may be it is asking you the truth... which even you want to know... You start delving into your mind (or the scenery around? doesn't matter)... If you are lucky this conversation can go on and on... but I was not! This place is quite famous among youngsters and many of them manage to come there before sunrise. So you cant really keep talking to your reflection peacefully.
There is this tree on a tiny island in Thol Lake, bent on the edge and trying to converse with its reflection... endlessly.... I wish even I could do that!
May be I should go back there... alone.... on the other side of lake... cause I still don't know whats there (or within myself!)....

Rear View Mirror

Unlike all the other mirrors, this one never shows you, ‘your’ reflection! Its not meant for seeing what you are wearing, how you look, but much more than that.
It shows you what you have left behind, where you have come from and sometimes shows what’s coming up! And all this without any need for looking back.
I find all this very interesting and essential. No matter where you are, just close your eyes for a while, and you see your own ‘rear view mirror’! Things just get lined up in front of your closed eyes. You recall every moment, just gone into past. Off course you can’t change it, but it certainly helps you decide your next move, at least till the next turn, where you will have a totally different, new scene in the mirror.
Keep going…….. but don’t forget to take a moment and look into your ‘rear view mirror’!...

Who am I?.....

Bhavin? Oh, but its just my name!, not me!.... Then who am I? A designer?, a student?, son?, brother?, friend? But aren’t these all just my relations with the external world? And there can be thousands and millions of such relations, there can be numerous ‘my’, ‘his’, ‘her’, ‘their’s, but where is the ‘I’?
Is it my body which makes me ‘me’? But still its ‘my’ face, ‘my’ height, ‘my’ colour and not ‘I’…. Or is it the virtues and vices I have, make me ‘me’? But then why does it happen that the same person finds me very good at times and very bad some time else? Or is it the situation which proves me ‘good’ or ‘bad’? Or it is other person’s expectations from me in that particular situation, which decides whether I am good or bad, even if I am the same person always? But in that case also, I must know what is being that ‘same’ person i.e. ‘I’!…
And do I have to take some efforts to keep being that ‘same’ person? Ideally I shouldn’t have to!... But then why do I have to think (consciously or otherwise) when I have to respond to a particular situation? Doesn’t that thinking involve a hidden search for ‘I’? May be my responses to similar situations change with time, experience and other people involved, but then how do people expect or predict my particular response to a particular situation? There must be ‘something’ within me, which keeps me ‘me’ irrespective of other things changing! And isn’t it very strange and unfair, that others who expect my particular response, know that ‘something’ within me and I don’t know? But when their expectation about my response proves to be false, does it mean that the ‘something’ kept me ‘me’ has changed? For that person, may be yes!.... Oh…. Then is this ‘something’ about me different for different people?..... Then how can it keep me ‘I’? Or am ‘I’ different for everybody? All this again points to my relations with others and nowhere near ‘I’!....
Is the ‘I’ illusion? Is the ‘I’ mirror? The mirror which is trying to show what’s behind it!.... I am feeling as if I am standing in front of mirror and trying to see what’s behind me!....
And exactly ‘who’ is feeling that?.......
ha ha ha ……..