(I said it)

you can get used to any situation......
what matters is the time you need for it!....

but we won’t be there….

whenever I happen to be here again, at late hours
I will sit behind that pillar’s shadow at middle gate,
waiting for you to come and ask me why
even though I know you won’t be there.

or while sitting in the bmw, in absolute dark
trying to identify people near main gate
and expecting one of them to be you,
though I know it can’t be…. you are simply not there!

I had stopped expecting someone to come for coffee with me long ago,
but I don’t know why, there is no coffee without your thoughts.
I will still feel like calling you for coffee,
only to realize how far you are…miles away from me.

and when you happen to be here again, in the morning
on your way to the institute,
you will feel like shouting my name looking at my room in A hostel,
no one will reply, no one will come out, cause I won’t be there!...

don’t get shocked if you find me working in workshop
struggling with rods, sheet metal and a hammer,
it must be one of those lookalikes of mine in gdpd
just laugh at yourself and go… how can I be there?

there will be lawn, there will be backfield,
there will be bbc, there will be old canteen
and pointless fights will continue throughout our life
but ‘WE’ won’t be there!…..

I will be there sometime,
you will be there sometime….
and there will be this empty space talking about us…
and ‘we’ won’t be there!.....
- bhavin

Rear View Mirror

Unlike all the other mirrors, this one never shows you, ‘your’ reflection! Its not meant for seeing what you are wearing, how you look, but much more than that.
It shows you what you have left behind, where you have come from and sometimes shows what’s coming up! And all this without any need for looking back.
I find all this very interesting and essential. No matter where you are, just close your eyes for a while, and you see your own ‘rear view mirror’! Things just get lined up in front of your closed eyes. You recall every moment, just gone into past. Off course you can’t change it, but it certainly helps you decide your next move, at least till the next turn, where you will have a totally different, new scene in the mirror.
Keep going…….. but don’t forget to take a moment and look into your ‘rear view mirror’!...

being myself....

I don't want to talk to you...
but I will...
I don't want to remember you...
but I will...
I don't want to know you...
but I will.....

I don't know why.....
so I will........
continue being myself!....
-bhavin

Yes, I am not worth loving….

must be very true……
‘cause who said it was you!

though my brain still thinks about it,
and doesn’t find any logic for it to fit.

may be I should ask my heart,
an idea just popped.
a stupid one though,
‘cause long ago it had stopped!

But it must be very true,
‘cause who said it was you!......

memories........

This also I agreed to do,
delete your memories
as you wanted me to.

I am still not done,
it has just now begun.

They are so many, I don’t know exact number,
but each of them, I certainly remember!...

No matter from where I start,
it straight away parts my heart.


I started with deleting your snaps,
the pain has just begun.
But in my memory, I felt
you just got added one by one!.....

-bhavin

Who am I?.....

Bhavin? Oh, but its just my name!, not me!.... Then who am I? A designer?, a student?, son?, brother?, friend? But aren’t these all just my relations with the external world? And there can be thousands and millions of such relations, there can be numerous ‘my’, ‘his’, ‘her’, ‘their’s, but where is the ‘I’?
Is it my body which makes me ‘me’? But still its ‘my’ face, ‘my’ height, ‘my’ colour and not ‘I’…. Or is it the virtues and vices I have, make me ‘me’? But then why does it happen that the same person finds me very good at times and very bad some time else? Or is it the situation which proves me ‘good’ or ‘bad’? Or it is other person’s expectations from me in that particular situation, which decides whether I am good or bad, even if I am the same person always? But in that case also, I must know what is being that ‘same’ person i.e. ‘I’!…
And do I have to take some efforts to keep being that ‘same’ person? Ideally I shouldn’t have to!... But then why do I have to think (consciously or otherwise) when I have to respond to a particular situation? Doesn’t that thinking involve a hidden search for ‘I’? May be my responses to similar situations change with time, experience and other people involved, but then how do people expect or predict my particular response to a particular situation? There must be ‘something’ within me, which keeps me ‘me’ irrespective of other things changing! And isn’t it very strange and unfair, that others who expect my particular response, know that ‘something’ within me and I don’t know? But when their expectation about my response proves to be false, does it mean that the ‘something’ kept me ‘me’ has changed? For that person, may be yes!.... Oh…. Then is this ‘something’ about me different for different people?..... Then how can it keep me ‘I’? Or am ‘I’ different for everybody? All this again points to my relations with others and nowhere near ‘I’!....
Is the ‘I’ illusion? Is the ‘I’ mirror? The mirror which is trying to show what’s behind it!.... I am feeling as if I am standing in front of mirror and trying to see what’s behind me!....
And exactly ‘who’ is feeling that?.......
ha ha ha ……..

Without or within

On my walk back to me,
I found myself missing.
I looked up, I looked around.
I looked beneath, I looked beyond.
with the only place remaining
I decided to search within,
only to find that, the person I was looking for,
had just left searching something!....
- bhavin

Restless......

Half way on your journey,
you face a strange situation
no matter life, or just a road.
you don’t have means to continue motion
and to stay there, you are not supposed!
All that you can do then is, just be…..
restless…….

feels like heaven…….

gliding at soothing sixty,
and road so straight at rest.
the breeze gets a bit naughty,
and I enjoy it all at my best.

Forget the bike, forget the turn
I try to close my eyes,
and it feels like heaven…….

those beauties and cuties around my bed,
especially the tall one in knitted red.
those fragrant tunes coming from my right
leave no doubt that I am a triumphant knight!

Forget the stitches, forget the sprain
I try opening the swolen eye,
and it feels like heaven!.....

rossi

if u can see a bike in this picture....

most probably can't ride like rossi...

when rossi is on the track, his bike is no separate entity!!....

kudos to valentino rossi...

hi...